My journey!

"I did not give you a voice so that you could be silent!"
Every time I feel impressed to say something in a discussion at church and don't, every time I could comment on something a co-worker says by sharing a scripture or personal testimony and don't, every time I don't speak up about something amazing God has done in my life, that phrase enters my thoughts and I know, without a doubt, it is God saying it. Know how I know it's God and not just me thinking it? Because it's not thought in a critical, disappointed, angry, frustrated, belittling way. It's more like a loving reminder, gently guiding me toward who I am supposed to be and what I'm supposed to be doing. It's supportive and encouraging, and kind, and positive and not at all the way I talk to myself.

In an effort to become more comfortable with actually vocalizing my thoughts, I've decided to start this blog and first get really comfortable with just sharing my thoughts. Each post will refer to God and Jesus and will contain scripture as well as my experiences and feelings and thoughts about God, Jesus, Church, scripture, etc. since, after all, this is my spiritual journey.

I also love movies, t.v., music, and books and frequently discover nuggets of inspiration in them that I will most likely share here.


Thursday, May 30, 2013

Are you asking?

My sister has a philosophy that she has lived by for as long a she has been able to talk. She says, “It never hurts to ask, the worst they can do is say 'no'”. I think I've mostly made my peace with it now and I have accepted that it's who she is and I don't have to tell her “yes”, but for the longest time it would drive me absolutely crazy. Not only because I was too shy, too withdrawn to even think about asking, but also because most of the time she would dicker and bargain so that even if she was told “no” to begin with, she would still come out with what she wanted. (She inherited her negotiating skills from our Grandaddy and since he's no longer with us, I would definitely take her along if I'm ever in the market to purchase a car....or just about anything else.)

My favorite book in the bible is the Book of James. In fact, James, is probably one of my favorite people in the bible. I think he's absolutely fascinating. Just think about it. He's the brother of Jesus – yes, I know technically they are “half” brothers but just ask me and my “half” sister how little value that “half” designation has in our relationship. Honestly, I'm really hoping God has an awesome DVR type system because there are many moments in history I would love to get the chance to see, but the one I think I really want to see most is the one described in 1 Corinthians 15:7 (KJV) - After that, he was seen of James; then of all the apostles. I have tried many times to imagine what this scene would be like and I know that everything I come up with probably pales in comparison to what actually happened.

James was also the head of the brand new Christian church in Jerusalem. Just think of the overwhelming responsibility that position would have. Plus, James pretty much just tells it like it is. He doesn't worry about hurting anybody's feelings. I've heard the Book of James described as a spiritual tornado. I think that's a pretty good description. Half the time when I read it I feel guilty over things I think I should be doing but am not or things I shouldn't be doing but am. The other half of the time feel like I want to throw up my hands and shout “Hallelujah!! Thank you Lord!” (What's really scary are those occasions when I feel like doing both at the same time.)

One of my favorite scriptures in James is 1:5-6 (KJV) - 5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. 6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. (FYI – just in case you're wondering “upbraid” means to “find fault with or reproach severely”) Pretty amazing to know that God isn't going to get irritated with you or call you stupid if you ask Him a question and believe that He really will give you the answer.  But, James doesn't leave it at that, he tells us that it's our own fault if we don't have because we didn't ask.  James 4:2 (NIV) says: You desire but do not have, so you kill.  You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.

 There have been many, many, many questions I've asked God before that He hasn't seemed to answer. When I look back on those questions I see that either I didn't really think He would take the time to answer or I didn't really want the answer I was pretty sure He was going to give and I can't say that I blame Him for not answering, since I wasn't even willing to listen.   There have also been times when I have asked a question and really wanted to know the answer and really believed that God would give me the answer and He did. He's given me answers that have blown me away, answers that have reassured me during difficult times, and answers that have more firmly grounded my faith and strengthened my relationship with Him.


Maybe as I move forward on my spiritual path and continue building my relationship with God it wouldn't hurt to adopt a little of my sister's philosophy. After all, according to James, as long as I'm asking with unwavering faith, it really doesn't hurt to ask.
at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)